Singh’s Brilliant Response to Interfaith Sikh Weddings

An excellent article written by Jaspinder Singh on Anand Karaj Satkaar.

Benti to all, please read and share.

Why go through the falsehood of such weddings at places of worship when religion hardly seems to matter? Religion must remain relevant to changes in human society by continually re-interpreting its ideology, while guiding the individual towards the ideal physical and spiritual state of harmony, to be able to achieve the goal of this life. Subject to such re-interpretation, any religious ideal is a guiding constant, which must not be abandoned, due simply to secular or social pressures, trends, fashions and fads. The guidance of Guru Granth Sahib is spiritual as well as temporal. That (miri-piri) guidance has given rise to a religious system and a code of conduct over a period of time.

Sikh religion has own guiding principles in married life (gresti or dam-pati jeevan) which are explained during an Anand Karaj – the Sikh ceremony showing the path to a blissful union of two bodies following one Guiding Light. Gender equality is preached -even if lagging behind in practise! – by stressing “one spiritual light in two human bodies” (ek jyot doay moorti) and respective complementary husband-wife roles in married life. Dharam nibhauna – to do one’s duty towards each other (and other family relationships) is explained. To come to One Guru Granth Sahib, the Word Guru only, and none other, is stressed; and any form of superstition, ritualism and un-Sikh practices, condemned. Service of creation while remaining immersed in Creator awareness (sewaand simran), honest work and sharing with those in need, are shown as the pillars of Sikhi. And so on, life guidance (sikhiaAnand Karaj ceremony is given.

If only one of the two sitting before Guru Granth Sahib in the presence of the holy congregation (Saadh Sangat), is listening to and accepting this sikhia, then it becomes a form of disrespect to both – Guru Granth Sahib and the Sangat ! Depending on pre-wedding briefing and professionalism of the marriage celebrant, non-Sikh parents and party may or may not understand what is going on, or show due respect to the Guru at such weddings. Some sit as indifferent observers at the back of the gurdwara hall, even with legs stretched towards Guru Granth Sahib.

Other religious paths have own guiding principles, which may or may not clash with the Sikh way of life of a householder. The alternative of a civil marriage is there. If they are so compelled by their residual faith in religion, both sides can visit each other’s places of worship. A prayer can be offered to seek the blessing of the Deity. Also, anyone can organise a langar in a gurdwara for whatever reason.

However, if a religious ceremony is felt to be absolutely necessary, then the couple should have been able to resolve this first matrimonial challenge before the wedding and be able to adopt one religious path for themselves and, in due course, for their children. There is a vast increase in such “mixed” marriages with parents’ partial or full consent.

However, the doors of the Gurdwaras are open to all. Anyone can say prayers (Ardaas) and arrange or do langar sewa. Anyone can invite own community to a gurdwara and benefit by listening to the universal egalitarian Message of Guru Granth Sahib, even if their own religion restricts them from complying with that Message fully. There are many communities like the so called “sehajdhari Sikhs”, the Sindhi Sikh community or just Nanak Naam leva Sikhs like thesikligar/wanjara Sikhs. They do not follow any other religion. Their traditional right to Anand Karaj ceremony can be discussed elsewhere, in that context. The message of Gurbani is universal and the Sikh institution of the gurdwara is inclusive.

However, over the centuries a corporate dimension of Sikh ideology and identity has emerged to defend the faith and the faithful. Great sacrifices have been called for and made. Compromising the corporate aspects of Sikh religion is a slippery slope leading to the loss of ideological independence, and visible identity of the religion.

The family unit is central to the preservation of the ideology and identity of an established world religion like Sikhi. It is for that reason that the great Gursikh scholars who drafted the Sikh Reht Maryada did not approve marriages before Guru Granth Sahib, when one partner is not fully committed to the Sikh faith

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