Kaur Further Clarifies: Interfaith Marriages vs “Normal” Sikh Marriages Part 2

Clarification and New Post! Via: Anonymous Kaur

Right… thank you to everyone who read my article and provided feedback through Facebook, WordPress and various private messages. I felt the need to clarify my Article, as I didn’t want anyone to associate Sikhi with any negative light. Firstly, thank you for taking the time out to read an article on Sikhi in your spare time. I’m writing this post for two main reasons – Firstly to clarify some concerns raised in my article and secondly to announce a new post to be released tomorrow!

So here it goes…

I am completely grateful to Maharaj for giving me the strength to post the article I wrote – (I had been sitting on those thoughts for quite a while). I have probably made tons of mistakes in both posts and for that Bhul Chuk Maaf. Thank you to all the comments, suggestions and thoughts. Many comments were encouraging, engaging and offered methods to improve my writing and knowledge. However, other comments were quite frankly abusive and cruel. To summarize some comments I was told I was a “dumb female dog”, “backwards”, “stopping the evolution of Sikhi”, “intolerant”, “told to commit suicide”, “accused of creating a supreme religion”, “pathetic”, “part of the RSS” and lastly “a f-wording Muslim”.

The comment that made me raise my eyebrows the most was when a individual called me a Muslim – that was not offensive at all – I am tolerant to all religions so I couldn’t understand why people thought calling someone a Muslim is offensive? It was incorrect in terms of my faith but not derogatory as implied.

Let me take a few lines to sum up the intended angle of my article:

The purpose of the article was to highlight hypocrisy within our community. I wanted to show how quick we are to judge and attack those who carry out interfaith marriages when we commit blatant beadbi ourselves. How can we turn around and stop interfaith marriages when we do not conform to many parts of the Rehat ourselves. For example, some Singhs only wear a daastar hold a kirpan and keep their beard for the ceremony and do not wait more than two hours before they change for their reception. Also, I wanted to state why interfaith marriages are not permissible.

Based on the comments and feedback I received – the article is alarming for the following reasons:

1. My humble opinion stating, “Amritdharis should be the only individuals permitted to have an Anand Karaj”. Due to this statement I was accused of segregation and dividing the Sikh Religion.
I can understand why some people may have misconstrued my article to believe I am setting a new rule. Please let it me clear – I am not. Quoted from the article: My opinion is pretty clear, partake in an Anand Karaj if Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji is the centre of your life. I never exiled ANY Sikh from the Anand Karaj – remember you do not need to be Amritdhari in order to have Maharaj as the centre of your life – I think we are all intelligent beings to know that ourselves. If not Amritdhari we are Sehajdhari – working towards receiving Amrit.

I did not state ALL Amritdharis are somehow higher or better than the rest of the Sikhs. We are all quick to state Non-Sikhs should not get married with the presence of Maharaj because they don’t live per Gurus teachings – Which is true – but should we ignore the Sikhs who also don’t live per Gurus teachings? But we consider that to be okay? Because they are brown and look Indian? Frankly, that is racist.

My humble opinion stated that Amritdharis should only have Anand Karaj – because I believe this will rule out SOME beadbi carried out by “normal” Sikh marriages. This is purely my opinion – for example, cutting hair for the reception, drinking before and after the Anand Karaj and consumption of meat. Never once did I state Amritdharis are perfect in every way and only they should enter the Gurdwara, only they can conduct sewa, and read Bani. No. Some Amritdharis do not follow Maryada to the tee. I never stated there were perfect and true Sikhs either. Obviously, Sikhs get married in an Anand Karaj ceremony – I was attempting to highlight the hypocrisy of allowing Beadbi in both types of marriages.

I still stand firm in my opinion that interfaith couples should not have an Anand Karaj but should come to gain the blessings of Maharaj through Ardaas and Sukhmani Sahib.

2. The definition of a Sikh – due to this definition I had provided I had “exiled” individuals from the Sikh faith.

The definition of a Sikh came from Article 1 of Rehat Maryada, which states a Sikh is any human being (emphasis on the ANY) who faithfully believes in:

  • One Immortal Being
  • Ten Gurus, from Guru Nanak Dev Ji to Guru Gobind Singh Ji
  • The utterances and teachings of the ten Gurus
  • The baptism bequeathed by the tenth Guru, and who does not owe allegiance to any other religion, is a Sikh.

The above definition is from the Rehat Maryada – not from me. I am no one to define a Sikh. In fact the definition itself states quite clearly you must “faithfully believe in the baptism” not that you MUST be a Baptized Sikh.

I then went on to highlight (quoted from the article): A Sikh is someone who follows the path of Sikhi through Gurus hukam with an explicit ambition to unite with the Husband Lord – this is my opinion. At any point in the Article – did I say you are not Sikh if you are not Amritdhari? Did I say you must be Amritdhari to be Sikh? Did I say Amritdharis are better than Sikhs? Despite popular misconception I am not an Amritdhari Sikh. However, do I still classify myself as a Sikh? Yes, without a doubt. Why? Because I try to follow the teachings of our Guru.

I did not state a Sikh is someone who must take Amrit – however apologies if you read my article and felt that implication was embedded. Anyone on the path to Sikhi is a Sikh and this was displayed continuously within my post. In fact, I also highlighted you do not need to be brown or born in a Sikh household to be a Sikh – there are many knowledgeable Sikhs out there who fell in the path of Sikhi despite there backgrounds. Never once did I question any individuals Sikhi but stated (as we all know) Sikhi is a lifestyle and we all have our own responsibility to learn about our Gurus teaching and implement them in our lives.

3. My intolerance towards every other religion and culture.

A vast majority of comments stated I was intolerant to religions and cultures because I argeed with the Rehat Maryada (and the 52 Hukams from Guru Sahib) that only a Sikh can get married to another Sikh. Section 4 of the Maryada states:

  • A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse’s caste and descent.
  • A Sikh’s daughter must be married to a Sikh.
  • A Sikh’s marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage rites.

I did not create the Maryada. I did however, Google it and copy and paste it as evidence in my Article. Does this mean I’m intolerant to other religions? Hardly. Am I discriminative? Hardly. Within in the Article I constantly state any human can be a Sikh, we are all equal (despite caste, colour, creed or gender) and every couple – interfaith or “normal” – should come to the Gurdwara to be blessed by Maharaj. Despite popular interpretations I never once stopped any faith entering the Gurdwara.

Personally, I would not get married in a Church, Synagogue, Mosque or Mandhir – not because I am intolerant to their religion or think they are less than the path of Sikhi – but because I don’t not follow the teachings of a Church, Synagogue, Mosque or Mandhir.

For those who think I bashed other religions or cultures – please show me this in my Article as I have then made a huge mistake and would like to apologize to anyone I offended.

4. My narrow-minded view means Sikhi will not evolve

Once again this is my view but I truly believe Sikhi does not need to evolve for modern times. Sikhi is not a culture that will develop as times change. Culture alters – the word of the Guru is permanent. So to the lovely individual who told me to commit suicide because I hindered Sikhi from changing please remember the following:

Aad Sach Jugaad Sach Hai Bhee Sach Nanak Hosee Bhe Sach.

My feelings towards your responses:

The light of Maharaj is in each and every one of you – and I thank you all for imparting your thoughts. I don’t wish bad on any individual – you are all children of the Divine Truth and thereby Brothers and Sisters of mine. Once again, apologies to all those I have offended and to anyone who on my behalf received abuse for supporting my article. I had to re-read my article 1000 times to see how and why I may have offended anyone – I am ashamed to have hurt the sentiments of ANY human being. If I have left any holes in my clarifications please email me.

To learn more about the Anand Karaj ceremony and the Laava you can go to the Basics of Sikhi talks by Bhai Baljit Singh or you can watch this online series by Bhai Sukhjeevan Singh – Sikh2Inspire:

Bhul Chuk Maaf – I am sorry if I offended anyone.

‘Everyone makes mistakes; only the Guru and the Creator are infallible’ Ang 61.

Originally Published on: Via: Anonymous Kaur Blog

Share this post

error: Content is protected !!